It’s got a couple chips in it but that’s okay, because she actually forgot it’s back there. Kinzleigh bought a sticker at beach week in Myrtle Beach in 2013 and it still sits across the back window of her Jetta. She put the sticker on the bottom right corner of the back window of her Ford Escape because she already had the Browning heart logo in the bottom left corner. I’m talking about Kim, who received a free Salt Life decal when she bought 4XL Salt Life t-shirts for her husband from Belk because they were buy one get one 50 percent off. Salt Life stickers are an epidemic and we need to help these lost people. Why the hell did I have that stupid sticker? I’m glad I finally saw the light. I go to the beach at most three times a year. I live in the hills of Appalachia, a good 4 hours from the nearest beach (and 6 hours from the nearest good one). Have I ever caught a dolphinfish? Of course not, but I do love to crush some mahi mahi at dinner. Mine even had a dolphinfish in the middle to match my dolphinfish key fob. I too once had that Salt Life decal on my truck’s rear window. When you finally see the back of his truck, it all makes sense: scribbled in white in the center of his rear window is a massive Salt Life decal. As he drives recklessly by you, Cody looks at you with disgust through his white Oakleys. Soon a white 2015 Dodge Ram with tinted windows and black rims weaves around you in the right lane barely missing the car you just passed, his absurdly wide tires almost brushing the slow car. Have you ever been in the left lane minding your own business passing slow people in the right lane while doing about ten over the speed limit? Eventually you look in your rear view mirror with a vehicle riding your ass so hard you can’t even tell what it is.
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